Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

February 25 2017

15:25
9444 5692 420

obvioususername:

seeklight:

I never wanna go on facebook again

It’s kinda hot tbh

August 26 2016

19:20
6305 11eb 420

cremsie:

Not every Lion has a mane and sometimes a lioness does 

August 05 2016

19:31
6335 61d1 420

This picture is a perfect depiction of what Austria is like.

(Friend of my mom, with his permission to upload)

10:25
6345 490e 420

August 04 2016

18:23
6368 80c6 420

fallcap:

don’t be happy worry

August 01 2016

20:43

Kirtag Gothic (Full)

austriansuggestion:

* You wake up. Every door and window is closed, the blinds are still shut. You already hear music. No matter how loud you turn up your TV or music, you can still hear it. It will not be ignored.

* Maybe you will go to church, or at least, your body will. You can’t remember where you left your soul.

* You order food. Your hopes are as low as they have always been.

* You see children with packs of cigarettes, puffs of powder coming out. It doesn’t worry you, you did the same when you were their age. They take a bite.

* The music stops. The sound system creaks. The musician makes a sexist joke. “Please, no more,” you cry out. He doesn’t listen. He increases the offensiveness. Everyone around you laughs. You feel someone’s spit on your arm.

* Your grandma secretly gives you money. “Buy yourself something nice,” she tells you. You buy something alcoholic.

* There’s suddenly an assortment of pastries on your table. It’s been the same since forever. Coconut flakes and pink icing. You know this because it even inspires a sense of nostalgia in your grandma. You wonder how old the pastries on your table are. You take a bite anyway.

* The music gets increasingly louder. You hardly know the song. Everyone is singing along. The words even spill over your own lips. It happens automatically.

* You’re still waiting for your food. 

 * You buy a Gingerbread heart.“You’re forever my loved one” it says. You keep it in your drawer, and you never eat it. Your relationships all crumble, but the heart still looks like when you bought it. “Forever” it mocks you.

 * Suddenly all your relatives are drunk. Your uncle starts saying racist things, the others silently agree. You wonder if there is even the slightest chance you have been, after all, adopted.

* It’s been a week. Your hair still smells of schnitzel and regret.

* There’s one of these swings with ships. Your mind is flodded with memories but the creaking of the hinges is enough to make you want to vomit.

 * There is one of these shooting booths. You can see a bunch of over hormonal teenage boys trying to impress girls. They can’t even get them fake roses which reek of cheap perfume. You remember that love is just a meaningless scream into the void. 

 * You know everyone there. You keep turning around, but there’s someone else you know and have to say hi to. You can’t escape. They’re everywhere. You don’t even know where you know them from, you just do. The sound of hundreds of people shouting “griaß di/ griaß eich” haunts you in your dreams.

* Some one comes up to you. They say they know you since you were THIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS little. They ask how you are doing. You start to sweat “is this the right time to tell them i turned into a marxist bisexual feminist or will it give them a heart attack”

* You’re interrupted by the band again. “Ein Proooosit, ein Proooosit der Gemüüüütliiichkeeit.” This is what will finally push you over the edge. You can see yourself, sitting in a cell, repeatedly humming it to yourself.

* Everyone wears a Dirndl, you don’t. You feel them staring, hear them whispering. The males are confused. How will they determine your relationship status if they can’t look at the bow?

* You order a Frucade. You were convinced it had been discontinued years ago but there seem to be a lot of things and people that came back from the dead just for today.

* Your mom asks you if you want Schoko-Erbeeren, you say yes remembering how much you loved them as a child. When you bite in your first, you realize the strawberries taste like grass and the chocolate is slimy. Your life has been a lie all along.

* You watch the children around you. They are fidgety and loud from all the sugar, screaming their heads off in the bouncy castle that has been heating up all day. You think it’s starting to smell like burning flesh.

* You decide to get a langos. You are austrian goddamnit, you need your fried carbs. Yes extra knofi. Afterwards you feel sick to your stomach, but you would never admit that. There is no such thing as too much knofi.

* You’re in the queue to this one huge blinking ride when you turn around and see you’re completely drunk sports teacher that all the girls in your class find handsome. You wonder how you’re ever supposed to have respect for them or this teacher ever again.

* You know everyone there. You keep turning around, but there’s someone else you know and have to say hi to. You can’t escape. They’re everywhere. You don’t even know where you know them from, you just do. The sound of hundreds of people shouting “griaß di/ griaß eich” haunts you in your dreams.


(…speechless lmao. special thanks to @hawarahawara  @afishinspace @not-a-platypus @verborgen-im-schatten @the-golden-paw @erichfried

it’s also been immortalized here

20:18

aristoteliancomplacency:

Fun fact: the Ancient Greek word εχινος means both ‘hedgehog’ and ‘sea urchin’. Which means someone looked at a sea urchin and went ‘ah! This is a hedgehog of the sea!’

Which: fair, tbh.

20:17

Kirtag Gothic

austriansuggestion:

* You wake up. Every door and window is closed, the blinds are still shut. You already hear music. No matter how loud you turn up your TV or music, you can still hear it. It will not be ignored.

* Maybe you will go to church, or at least, your body will. You can’t remember where you left your soul.

* You order food. Your hopes are as low as they have always been.

* You see children with packs of cigarettes, puffs of powder coming out. It doesn’t worry you, you did the same when you were their age. They take a bite.

* The music stops. The sound system creaks. The musician makes a sexist joke. “Please, no more,” you cry out. He doesn’t listen. He increases the offensiveness. Everyone around you laughs. You feel someone’s spit on your arm.

* Your grandma secretly gives you money. “Buy yourself something nice,” she tells you. You buy something alcoholic.

* There’s suddenly an assortment of pastries on your table. It’s been the same since forever. Coconut flakes and pink icing. You know this because it even inspires a sense of nostalgia in your grandma. You wonder how old the pastries on your table are. You take a bite anyway.

* The music gets increasingly louder. You hardly know the song. Everyone is singing along. The words even spill over your own lips. It happens automatically.

* You’re still waiting for your food. 

05:13
6406 8855 420

lafayeezus:

heathyr:

I am determined to not buy Cursed Child but I did flip it open to possibly the best exchange in the history of Harry Potter exchanges

its always sunny in diagon alley

July 31 2016

02:48

buckyandclyde:

atemlos, durch die macht

image

July 30 2016

17:12

dipthong-prime:

German hack: put chen on everything and live a very cute, one gendered life

13:12
6419 b528 420

July 27 2016

07:36
6428 2227 420
05:09

louisthesixteenth:

ghostieguy:

just-shower-thoughts:

I have never seen grape ice cream.

Actually, i know why this is:

Grapes contain a  a special molecule Anthocyanin that prevents freezing, so you’d keep ending up with grape milk. Many ice cream companies and manufacturers have made bold attempts at grape ice cream, hardly any of them successful.

But then, finally, those geniuses at Ben and Jerry’s did it. So why don’t we have grape ice cream?

Here’s the thing: Ben confessed in a People Magazine interview in 1984 that he had a huge crush on Becky and promised to create the flavor just for her. Knowing the history of grape ice cream, she coyly requested it, thinking it to be impossible. Ben began to include the grape skin and juice to better see the differences between batches. While he didn’t understand the science behind this at the time, he found that including the skins increased the levels of anthocyanin enough to make the ice cream freeze. “Becky was impressed,” he remarked, “We were at her house, alone. I gave her the scoop – on a cone. I was really getting somewhere. She was laughing and happy. She couldn’t believe I did it. I’ll never forget what happened next.”

“Becky jokingly gave her dog a lick from the cone. He liked it and took a couple of licks. Then he just gasped and dropped dead. He flipped down onto the floor and was just gone. I had no idea grapes are toxic to dogs. Specifically to the anthocyanin. Becky was devasted. I had invented a deadly dog poison, and I definitely wasn’t getting anywhere with her now.”

Yeah. 

tldr; The reason we don’t have grape ice cream is because Ben from Ben and Jerry’s killed Jerry’s hot sister’s dog with it.

holy fuck

05:04

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them

teenagers: we are going to punch you
me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied

teenagers: we are going to kick you
me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…

teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money
me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….

teenagers: we are going to call you mean names
me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….

teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it !
me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.

teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you
me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden

teenagers: we are about to physically assault you
me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut

teenagers: we are going to commit felonies
me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …

teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle
me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet

teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism!
me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield

July 22 2016

12:24
6447 feb1 420

punkrockdorianpavus:

This rat is 87 centimeters tall and weighs 10 grams. This rat is about 0.6 the density of helium. I carry this rat around on a string like a balloon.

July 21 2016

00:12
6459 cf90 420

badfuckingdog:

………I guess TSA opened my bag. REAL MATURE GUYS.

July 20 2016

09:42

animentality:

lalierz:

stoned-levi:

edwardsheight:

envysnightmare:

giraffesketches:

andysar:

duchesslyssie:

izayas-dick:

arsetalia:

Edward was only 12 when he became a state alchemist, what are you doing with your life

well I have both arms so I think I’m doing pretty good

and my sibling remains in their own body so that’s a plus for me

I’m tall

my mom isn’t dead

My dad lives with me

my house remains unburnt and intact

milk tastes great

My cousin and her dog are two separate entities

ya’ll are savage 

09:10
6476 2f69 420

July 18 2016

17:33
6492 fdc1 420

breastforce:

mothfurry:

factoryshowroom:

freddiefourtyfour:

factoryshowroom:

cant believe this

Isn’t piss an Australian term for beer? I may be wrong, but I hope that’s what the true meaning is behind this.

im afraid piss means piss..

why is there piss inside

Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl