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20:43

Kirtag Gothic (Full)

austriansuggestion:

* You wake up. Every door and window is closed, the blinds are still shut. You already hear music. No matter how loud you turn up your TV or music, you can still hear it. It will not be ignored.

* Maybe you will go to church, or at least, your body will. You can’t remember where you left your soul.

* You order food. Your hopes are as low as they have always been.

* You see children with packs of cigarettes, puffs of powder coming out. It doesn’t worry you, you did the same when you were their age. They take a bite.

* The music stops. The sound system creaks. The musician makes a sexist joke. “Please, no more,” you cry out. He doesn’t listen. He increases the offensiveness. Everyone around you laughs. You feel someone’s spit on your arm.

* Your grandma secretly gives you money. “Buy yourself something nice,” she tells you. You buy something alcoholic.

* There’s suddenly an assortment of pastries on your table. It’s been the same since forever. Coconut flakes and pink icing. You know this because it even inspires a sense of nostalgia in your grandma. You wonder how old the pastries on your table are. You take a bite anyway.

* The music gets increasingly louder. You hardly know the song. Everyone is singing along. The words even spill over your own lips. It happens automatically.

* You’re still waiting for your food. 

 * You buy a Gingerbread heart.“You’re forever my loved one” it says. You keep it in your drawer, and you never eat it. Your relationships all crumble, but the heart still looks like when you bought it. “Forever” it mocks you.

 * Suddenly all your relatives are drunk. Your uncle starts saying racist things, the others silently agree. You wonder if there is even the slightest chance you have been, after all, adopted.

* It’s been a week. Your hair still smells of schnitzel and regret.

* There’s one of these swings with ships. Your mind is flodded with memories but the creaking of the hinges is enough to make you want to vomit.

 * There is one of these shooting booths. You can see a bunch of over hormonal teenage boys trying to impress girls. They can’t even get them fake roses which reek of cheap perfume. You remember that love is just a meaningless scream into the void. 

 * You know everyone there. You keep turning around, but there’s someone else you know and have to say hi to. You can’t escape. They’re everywhere. You don’t even know where you know them from, you just do. The sound of hundreds of people shouting “griaß di/ griaß eich” haunts you in your dreams.

* Some one comes up to you. They say they know you since you were THIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSS little. They ask how you are doing. You start to sweat “is this the right time to tell them i turned into a marxist bisexual feminist or will it give them a heart attack”

* You’re interrupted by the band again. “Ein Proooosit, ein Proooosit der Gemüüüütliiichkeeit.” This is what will finally push you over the edge. You can see yourself, sitting in a cell, repeatedly humming it to yourself.

* Everyone wears a Dirndl, you don’t. You feel them staring, hear them whispering. The males are confused. How will they determine your relationship status if they can’t look at the bow?

* You order a Frucade. You were convinced it had been discontinued years ago but there seem to be a lot of things and people that came back from the dead just for today.

* Your mom asks you if you want Schoko-Erbeeren, you say yes remembering how much you loved them as a child. When you bite in your first, you realize the strawberries taste like grass and the chocolate is slimy. Your life has been a lie all along.

* You watch the children around you. They are fidgety and loud from all the sugar, screaming their heads off in the bouncy castle that has been heating up all day. You think it’s starting to smell like burning flesh.

* You decide to get a langos. You are austrian goddamnit, you need your fried carbs. Yes extra knofi. Afterwards you feel sick to your stomach, but you would never admit that. There is no such thing as too much knofi.

* You’re in the queue to this one huge blinking ride when you turn around and see you’re completely drunk sports teacher that all the girls in your class find handsome. You wonder how you’re ever supposed to have respect for them or this teacher ever again.

* You know everyone there. You keep turning around, but there’s someone else you know and have to say hi to. You can’t escape. They’re everywhere. You don’t even know where you know them from, you just do. The sound of hundreds of people shouting “griaß di/ griaß eich” haunts you in your dreams.


(…speechless lmao. special thanks to @hawarahawara  @afishinspace @not-a-platypus @verborgen-im-schatten @the-golden-paw @erichfried

it’s also been immortalized here

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