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July 14 2016

21:39

varaiancomet:

youcanthandelthetruth:

Some old fella came up to me at work and asked a question only he didn’t quite figure out if he should call me “sir” or “ma’am” by the time he got to the end of his sentence and in a moment of apparent panic ended up saying “captain” instead. Absolutely made my day.

petition to call non binary people captain

17:02

th4nkyoub3n:

writing-prompt-s:

You run a tattoo parlor. Every couple of weeks, the same customer comes in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks.

“what are you counting”

“how many tattoos i’ve gotten”

“i’m no longer serving you”

13:13
6513 aa25 420

barnesandpunks:

the israeli president posted this on facebook with the caption ‘someone call security’ I just

July 12 2016

07:36

animar-smol-of-elephants:

penguintree:

So the police and fire station are right next to my library which is a pokemon gym and pokestop. The cops are blu team and the firefighters are red and they are constantly fighting over the gym. I found out cuz i was adding a pokemon to the gym and some cops noticed me playing pokemon and they asked what team i was on and i told them blu and they were like damn right and told me about the situation.

this is pure and good, 2k16 is getting better because of pokemon

05:36
05:26
6536 64c8 420

I love bootleg alcohol that’s making references to Half Life. (The bottle design is very obviously “inspired by” Gordon’s)

July 11 2016

11:39

twentybrightpansies:

bechdels:

twentybrightpansies:

bechdels:

twentybrightpansies:

bechdels:

twentybrightpansies:

Got misgendered in greggs earlier lads

tell us what happened lad

I got misgendered in greggs

ye but why

I was existing as a trans person in a society that constantly assigns gendered labels to people based on superficial characteristics without their consent

in greggs?

yeah it was in greggs

July 10 2016

21:24

English has survived surprisingly unchanged in America considering what happened to other languages in the Americas. Like, yeah, there’s the accent and a few words but all in all it’s still the same language.

I remember being told “In France and all former colonies sixty-thirteen is the correct way of saying seventy-three, 80 is four-times-twenty and ninety is four-times-twenty-and-ten except in Quebec where it’s not.”

Or similarly in Spanish (I don’t remember what that was about unfortunately.) “That’s pretty straightforward… unless you’re in Mexico or South America where they do that completely differently.”

July 08 2016

14:11

lycantrophies-moved:

in german, we don’t say “let’s go” we say “jetzt geht jeder noch mal aufs klo und dann reiten wir los” and i think that’s rad

14:09
6552 d12a 420
13:48

Ethics

shitmystudentswrite:

The four schools of ethics are relativism, universalism, utilitarianism, and plagiarism.

13:48

President or Republican

shitmystudentswrite:

In the future, when the kids grow up, they might possibly take in a career including government, such as President or Republican.

00:08
6584 9699 420

July 07 2016

21:37

austriansuggestion:

#30: ignore the Rain. The Rain does not exist. It does not ruin the days you actually want to go outside for once. These tiny balls of dihydrogenmonoxide are imaginary and so will be this summer if they don’t stop showing up to the party uninvited

21:37
6596 9aaa 420

winawinadajcie:

“Russia is so big the geese went for a walk in 1991 and only got back in 2014.”

“The geese built Dubai and returned.”

20:04
6604 95df 420

official-deutschland:

gestohlen von facebook

20:03

austriansuggestion:

#30: ignore the Rain. The Rain does not exist. It does not ruin the days you actually want to go outside for once. These tiny balls of dihydrogenmonoxide are imaginary and so will be this summer if they don’t stop showing up to the party uninvited

18:51
6618 0642 420

July 05 2016

17:12

nltm:

“hyperinflation” means different things depending on if you’re an economist or a furry

July 04 2016

17:12

me as a furry therapist

duxwontobey:

samael:

zennistrad:

memeufacturing:

memeufacturing:

me: *glomps my patient’s depression* xD

me: *notices abandonment issues in engrained in their subconscious* OwO whats this? :3

#STOP!!!!!!!!! #(FILTHY FRANK VOICE) ITS TIME TO STOP

today were going 2 work on those abandonment issues, how is your furry family doing *nuzzles* < ^.-.^ >

me: rawr, that’s PTSD in dinosaur x3c

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